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In my experience, the most common reason for a baby fighting sleep at nap time and bedtime is overtiredness.
Babies who sleep poorly in the day often need a lot of parental help to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night.
This is because they have become over stimulated through being awake for too long during the day, or due to poor quality naps (typically 30 minutes or less) when out and about.
Time and again people ask me for advice about their baby's night sleep and when I ask about day time naps they say "she won't nap for more than 15 minutes in the day" or, "he stopped napping before his first birthday".
The trouble with this is that these babies are awake for too long a period for their age. As a result they become chronically fatigued, find it harder to fall asleep, and/or stay asleep. Sleep problems then start to arise because parents assist their babies to sleep.
Of course, some babies really do need less sleep than others and can tolerate longer periods of time awake. But if your baby is finding it hard to settle to sleep, doesn't nap well in the day, and/or is waking regularly throughout the night, I suggest you look first at the amount of day sleep she is having and the length of time she is staying awake.
You will know how long your baby can stay awake while content and happy by watching her closely. As soon as she starts to fuss, become frustrated, rub her eyes, or show other signs of tiredness, it's time for her to sleep.
The length of time your baby is content while awake will vary but it's probably a lot less time than you think. Some approximate 'contented awake' times are:
0 - 3 weeks (15 - 30 minutes)
3 - 12 weeks (30 - 90 minutes)
3 - 7 months (1 - 2 hours)
7 - 12 months (2 - 3 hours)
1 - 2 years (3 - 5 hours)
2 - 3 years (5 - 8 hours)
All babies are different and these awake times are just a guideline. Interestingly, babies seem to have their shortest, 'contented awake' time in the morning and these then increase as the day goes along. So the longest period of 'contented awake' time is at the end of the day.
For example a seven month old baby may need a nap 1 hour and 45 minutes after waking in the morning. She is likely to then have a further two naps in the day and may be contentedly awake for three hours before her final sleep.
If your baby is staying awake for a longer period of time than is right for her age, she is very likely fighting sleep due to overtiredness. Alternatively, she may fall asleep at the end of the day straight away due to exhaustion (I call this a "dead" sleep). But she will probably then wake regularly through the night because she was over stimulated before bedtime.
Another reason why your baby may fight sleep is because she isn't being prepared for what is about to happen. Your seven month old may be playing happily. She's been awake for about two hours and she starts to fuss. First she becomes frustrated with her toys, then she starts to rub her eyes with the back of her hand.
You know she's tired so you pick her up and put her in her cot. She shouts, screams even. In and out you go, trying to settle her, until she is beyond tired. Eventually, you get her up, concluding that she wasn't ready for a nap after all. This is a scenario I often hear about.
When you put your baby down for a nap, it's really important you do it as soon as she's tired because the window of opportunity here is quite small. Even just ten minutes to tidy the kitchen could mean she's moved from tired and ready for a nap to too tired and over stimulated.
As soon as you see your baby is tired, take her to where she sleeps and then spend some time preparing her for her nap. The older your baby, the more time this will be. For example, an 18 month old may need a story and milk while he winds down, but a six month old baby may just need a cuddle, and/or a small feed. The aim is to help your baby become drowsy and ready to sleep.
At the end of the day, the preparation for bedtime will be longer, probably involving a bath and some music so your baby knows it's night time.
A tired (not over tired) baby, who has been prepared for sleep through a calming routine, will find it much easier to fall asleep without your help for naps. And a well rested baby, who has napped well in the day, will be able to settle herself to sleep at bedtime. Which is essential if you want your baby to sleep through the night without your help.
